Her dad is Jewish, mom isn't, and parents are divorced. The extent of her religion is "we said the prayers on hannukkah." Last night she heard about some right wingers she's barely related to say that Jewish people go to hell. This then led to my gf saying that "the left" also does the same thing.
Is this what the kids are calling "the ick"?
Only libs go to hell, chuds go to Valhalla (Cheesecake Factory). As for leftists, we go to the great struggle session in the sky.
Sorry you are going through this. I finally swore off dating libs over a year ago and it was a very good choice for me. Leftists can also be pieces of shit but at least they tend to share my values. I get why you wouldn’t be ready to end the relationship given the length and level of investment, but I hope you can have a serious conversation with her about how much her views bother you.
Jewish people don't even believe in hell, so what's her deal?
Make sure to tell her that loudly and repeatedly
Actually, don't do that, that would be pretty mean
i think it's part of a liberal white womans desire to have something interesting about them? She's really been using her Jewish heritage more than ever now that Israel is murdering children. She's also very into "witchy things" so
She's really been using her Jewish heritage more than ever now that Israel is murdering children.
This seems very concerning.
I was in a remarkably similar situation during one of Israel's offensives in the 2010s. The sense of ethnic identity, in the absence of a commitment to internationalism, can be overwhelming. You might be able to salvage this but she needs to have enough conversations with anti-Zionist Jews.
It can't just come from you. She must talk to a Jew. Better not one but a few. Simply none else will do.
I had the opposite thing where the second the horrors started ramping up again (also in 2021) I felt like I needed to do my part in promoting a social/cultural 'out' from Zionism for Jews in my community who've been raised on it. Like, try to help further mainstream a Judaism that regards Zionism as fundamentally disgusting, so other conscientious Jews can pull the escape hatch more easily. The indoctrination runs deep and the rot even deeper in my experience, entire Jewish organizations that present otherwise innocuously are built primarily to promote and rationalize the existence of Israel. Shit sucks and it suckers in libs hard because it's so baked into the institutions. I've personally helped steward along dozens of people in that process, especially at my former summer camp, and one of those people is very actively helping in facilitating organization on the ground for Palestine, which is very much an honor.
I want to further embrace my own Jewish heritage in order to promote to other Jews that it's fine to be Jewish whilst disavowing this Hitlerian statecraft project that leeches onto Jewish identity. There's a chunk of other non-religious Jews want to further embrace theirs to snuff out uncomfortable feelings they refuse to reckon with, which I reckon she kinda falls into from what you are saying.
If anything, ask her who on the left is saying she's going to hell?
Because I assume you aren't telling her that
Why on earth are you dating white libs?
I guess you could emphasize the 'I'm dating a hot witch' thing and push her that way, but, like, genocide bad, please dont ruin witchy stuff, and there are other girls out there who dont support genicide.
Edit: some even have houses and space for cats
let's be real, if we call kept just waiting for that magical leftist/commie to come along, we'd be waiting a while. i've dated quite a few women, they were probably more lib than left usually.
Have you tried radicalizing her? It... Well it might be a little late, but the whole 'you are a human who deserves rights' thing might be appealing.
All the women I've dated were pretty far left. Maybe you find libs because you look in lib spaces (and lib apps). Pretty sure all of them have cats, too.
Then again; I spend an unhealthy amount of time alone.
I don't think this is restricted to white women - see the
EDC people (I'm assuming mostly white men) who have 20 knives instead of a personalityOkay but what really is the difference between a knife and a personality?
Because I dont think your personality can be used to prepare sushi chop ingredients for stews sacrifice a virgin murder a king or whittle a children's toy.
If her mom isn't Jewish, then she's not considered Jewish by zionists. She doesn't owe them a thing and I assume she knows how this works, which means she's choosing to endorse genocide and trying to use any excuses she can find to run cover for it.
The non Zionist orthodox community I was raised in wouldn't consider them Jewish at all but actually Zionists and Israel would let them immigrate there with any parent being Jewish.
This person isn't Jewish according to Halakha though. It isn't a race, that is a European construction of Judaism; It is a religion meaning that if you do not believe in God and you do not do the 613 mitzvot, then you are not a follower of that religion. Hanukkah isn't even a holiday, it is a festival and is only considered important in America because it is near Christmas and American Jews didn't want their kids to feel left out. You can't be "half Christian" either, you either accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior or you are not Christian, if you do accept Jesus as your savior and God then you are definitely not Jewish; you are a regular Christian. If you do not believe in God, do not accept Jesus as your savior and you do not perform Mitzvot then you simply have no religion and that is fine too.
I do not really consider myself Jewish any more since I do not believe in God, do not perform Mitzvot or give a shit about any of it. I'm married to an Italian former Catholic.
Edit: I kind of threw out holiday and festival like this would make sense to anyone not raised with this stuff, Holidays are solemn days with religious requirements and festivals are "joyous celebrations" and not really a requirement to observe. Some festivals are also holidays like Sukkot.
and you do not do the 613 mitzvot, then you are not a follower of that religion
Apparently Mitzvot 18 is "Do not oppress the weak." so there we go, right off the bat, the existence of pissrael itself is heresy according to Judaism.
Zionists may say this but you still only need one Jewish parent to gain Israeli citizenship
If her mom isn't Jewish, then she's not considered Jewish by zionists.
this is pretty true, but also you don't need a jewish mother to go to Israel on "birthright."
Most people who support israel have no attachment to the land and probably will never live there in long term. They are chickenhawk nationalists
does she know your stance on this issue?
I am really sorry about this. I failed to navigate this with a much, much shorter relationship. If you're really in love, I would recommend against choosing to be staunchly more based than her. No one resents anything more than someone telling them they are constantly wrong about anything and fact of the matter is that your specific relationship and her opinions will not affect the genocide. Remember, few people hold true conviction. Most are just vibing.
so shes saying or implying that she thinks that you think she's going to hell too? I think people who don't understand the situation and are confused about power tend to react this way
no she doesnt think i think that. i guess it's one of those "you're one of the GOOD leftists" thing. Reminds me of an ex who would say "ALL MEN except you." Kinda just made me think it might not be except me.
I've got a similar situation. I've heard a couple of times 'its a complicated situation' WHAT'S COMPLICATED ABOUT STANDING AGAINST GENOCIDE???? I'm a little butt hurt about it
To people completely unfamiliar it can seem that way from media framing. You know nothing about the Middle East, let alone your own politics, and then there’s this big debate about two sides with one you know more about because because the media you’re exposed to pushes them more.
let alone your own politics
I hadn't thought about it in a long time how established I am in my politics. There's a lot I could stand to be more educated on, but I pretty much have the fundamentals down cause I don't want to be beholden to a system whose only purpose is to make sure 17 or so people are wealthy beyond measure.
That's a very generous take. In my conversations I'm simplifying as much as possible because the root issues aren't complicated. Reconciliation is going to be incredibly complicated, but we're not there yet. I'm asking people if genocide is bad. What's an appropriate response to genocide? That's getting me really far. Either they out themselves as a ghoul or they start to put it together
Well, see, its complicated because god damn commies hate fun, because you're all raging antisemites; proven by you thinking literally a single Palestinian person on earth should live to the age of 20. But I still wanna exterminate the brutes, because I, a lib, like fun.
And I guess it's just the commie in you
That brings out the lib in me
I know I can't help myself
You're all in the world to meIt feels like the first time
etc.we've been together 5+ years and own a house and have 4 cats. If it was like 3 months into the relationship though, probably lol
indoor lol. i dont understand outdoor cats, i wouldnt be ok with them maybe just never coming back someday.
If she sees this comment though... might speed the process up
Excellent 5D chess move
But on a more serious note, this sounds like an infinite fountain of resentment for the two of you. From the outsider POV here, it's easy to say "just leave." But as someone on the outside who has been on the inside... you gotta take action. Now or later, this stuff tends to explode.
Results will be a quick burn end of the relationship or she comes to acknowledge the truth (that criticism of Israel doesn't inherently have anything at all to do with Jewish people. And also thinking it does is into itself pretty antisemitic even if tons of people think it anyway). You either save yourself years of internal torment and resentment (and probably same on her end, to be fair) or you have a healthier, more mature relationship where you can respect each other and learn and grow together.
It's your life ultimately. Why spend it with a hovering cloud of resentment over your main relationship and source of human contact? Unless it genuinely doesn't bother you. Then do whatever. Do whatever anyway. It seems to bother you though considering draws circle this whole-ass post.
And the sunk cost fallacy is a bad logical fallacy with investments and such. When using it regarding a relationship... it's only going to get more "sunk." More cats, maybe kids, who knows. I don't want to boil relationships down to dollars, but it's safe to say long term committed relationships don't tend to have partners become less "bought-in" over time.
I was with someone for 10 years of my life that was more conservative than they let on to most people.
I would absolutely agree with this post. Seriously weigh out your situation here - and maybe talk to some IRL friends that know the both of you, if you can. I didn't listen to mine, and that's years of my life I can't get back.
If you love this person and want to stay with them you have 2 options. Either you ignore this and try to not let it bother you, or you talk it out, and try to educate them. If they love you back they should be willing to listen to reason.
I will say tho. If you arent happy now are you gonna be happy in 5 more years? When millions more are dead and she supports it? What about in 10 when she wants to go on vacation in Gaza and stay in a beach house built on top of child bones? How much are you willing to put up with?
I'm more of a "dump them and head off to write the next great song: 'Alone With My Principals'" type of guy.
at this point it's a 29 minute long opus.
i would just laugh and say I don't believe in fairy tales
common law partner bad
