- Practice listening more than talking
- But remain yourself. We all annoy most people and get along with some people. If you annoy some people, don’t change yourself to suit them. Stay true to yourself.
- But you have to find your people so be social. Go to events, join clubs, play sports, etc. you’ll find your people.
- The secret to getting along with people is that most people are interested in their own shit more than your shit. This doesn’t mean disowning your own shit since it’s great to have your own thing going on that makes you an interesting person (to some people) but the key is to focus on others more than yourself. It’s a balance. It doesn’t mean putting other people first or changing yourself to conform to their preferences. That will make you unhappy, it will make you seem false, it will make you less interesting since you’ll seem hollow, and it means you’ll attract people who aren’t actually interested in you. But even among “your people” you have to extend them your focus and attention.
to use a bazinga metaphor: Paying attention to people is like playing medic, in that for some reason nearly no one likes doing it but if you do everyone will love you. that doesn't mean you have to play medic all the time, just that you should probably support your medic and maybe take one for the team and play it when one isn't online (or take one for the team when one IS online! medics need support too!)
... or let go of the idea that everyone has to be interested in the same things, and allow people to just communicate autistically which works
bettertoo. embrace full soldier team rushes
I know some other comments have mentioned this but if you have the means you should consider getting tested for autism. But just being self aware that I was trying people's patience or rambling about something no one was interested in talking about took me probably until my mid 20s, I wouldn't beat yourself up about it too much.
most of the time in my experience it makes me open up about whatever i'm thinking more than usual. the upside is that if the other people are high they're usually far more open to trading obsessions like any good smoking session should involve
Go find and hang out with the local artistic people, having strong opinions about media stuff like this is considered normal.
Did you mean autistic? because that also works pretty well for this. At least it has helped me
My brothers mega artist and talks about this stuff but its beyond even him. I think about the most useless shit beyond any reasonable point of analysis like the people who can smell a small pixel difference between am original and remaster
Seconding this. I feel like artists would appreciate the CRT aesthetic and the artwork that used to go into old games.
I have the same trouble worrying about how much I'm bothering someone when describing some interest I am obsessing on, more people have similar stuff in their heads than you might realize though! I have found comfort in circles that are happy not to be 'normal' through art/music and other interests.
Everyone has weird aspects, some people just fit in better than others, but I don't think there is anything wrong with being different. But I agree, it can be lonely, maybe you just haven't found the right friends yet? Anyway though, I feel for you and hope it gets less lonely.
I had realised this a while ago but it generally results in me doing the listening but never talking. I dont actually know when its right to talk cos I'm so fukin odd about the shit i wanna talk about.
I can easily care about the shit other people talk about cos my interests are so broad but my craving remains to talk about peculiar pixels in a peculiar game on a peculiar console that literally NOBODY thinks about
Its kind of funny cos even my parents hated me for the same reasons. My dad would come home and I'd try to talk and he'd tell me to fuck off.
But when i try to jump off a bridge the same people are upset. I really don't get it. Am i like wanted here or not if I'm soooooo damn annoying being gone is good right? But no being gone is bad I'm supposed to be there but but not heard.
Never really got it myself. I couldn't give a shit if I'm here or not tbh
Nah I'm just really that annoying. Its like i harnessed annoying orange amd every crappy millennial meme into one form and just infuriate everyone by breathing. It's something you have to experience to know.
The way i like talking to people is dumping. I dump they dump we dump together talk over each other doesn't even need to be related o hear impassioned speach i give one about thing and it resonate with that. But its very rare. I'm either only doing the talking or only listening it always feels one sided
Idk. You'd probably be able to deconstruct it if you knew me irl but then I'd just ignore whatever you say because i have hateful preconceptions about myself because i spent the first 18 years of my life loved by nobody. My brains cooked there's nothing to be done.
Well that and everyone i meet really doesn't like me. Nothing to be done
Something i just remembered i don't exist online, on anything or anyones feeds, camera rolls, anything. I erased my online presence, nobody has ever taken a photo of me. I take photos of others. People are a memory for me but i don't exist for anyone else. When I'm gone I'm just an idea that no one ever captured. There's probably a good reason for that. I don't think i ever really meant much to anybody or anything.
Its funny i treat this as a new idea yet I've come full circle to this conclusion time and time again i just choose to forget
probably some combination of:
autism, adhd, wanting attention
but I'm not a psychologist
I became a lot less annoying after starting adhd meds, personally
Find somebody who doesn't do a lot of talking but also could use some company, they'll probably let you talk for hours about anything you want.
In my opinion, people who say that out loud often tend to be assholes. It's kind of infuriating how people here are missing the ableist turn the concept of "annoying in conversation" usually takes, and how fuelled it tends to be by a strict "your turn then my turn" idea of conversation. And many people here are giving good advice about interacting with neurotypical people, too. Sometimes you have to just conform to what they expect so they treat you like a human being (yes it is horrific and any sane world would involve people expecting those things to be whooped and left out of the group).
But altogether if you kind of just like. Are simultaneously acknowledging that what they say and are is valid and relevant, while also telling them to shut the hell up when they call you annoying, most kind and good people will make their way too you. In theory, idk, I think I've been doing this but it could just be luck.
also people consider echolalia, tics, etc annoying so just generally if they won't elaborate or explain why something bother's them it's just bigotry
Being normal is as easy as realizing literally nobody is normal, everyone is a weird fucked up gremlin masquerading as a person
Wait for the right time to say something, but if no one responds, don't repeat it
Try ranting about politics instead, my friends love when I do that. /s
Lots of good advice here, something else you could try is including open ended questions to see if the other person/people have input or want to rant a bit on their own. Like “how do you feel about ___?”
Sometimes I think about interests like a fishing pole, don’t be shy about your interests, put them out there, but if other people clearly don’t care it’s not worth it to go into them. People like that are either good as acquaintances, maybe you can connect with them on something else, or maybe those just aren’t your people.
If someone does bite, then go into your interests, but it’s important to have a conversation with them and not lecture them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been trying to talk with someone about some niche interest, and they start trying to teach me about it? As if I don’t have the same knowledge they have (sometimes more)? I go “yeah I know” but the monologue can’t be stopped. Assume the other person has the same knowledge you have, if they don’t they’ll ask questions or it’ll become clear in some other way. And don’t be embarrassed about things you don’t know either.
in my experience it feels unnatural to "tell" someone about my interests when actually involving them is much more fun. I don't know why people "mansplain" when you can try and get their opinion on things and see if they already know things instead, it's a lot more engaging and fun to do.
