https://archive.is/qB0xc
the fancy woke filling is fucking deli chicken slices and like olives and cheese from spain or something for anyone who doesn't want to read the daily lie
Not only is being vegan woke, so is eating fancy meats and cheeses like a gourmand
Literally everything is woke according to boomers lol
woke is anything that wakes me from my eldritch slumbers, apparently
The other day I went to a restaurant and asked for a meatball sub. They said they no longer serve meatballs, only genderballs.
I sent my children an email saying they aren't welcome at Christmas if they want to eat fucking pronoun ham and they did NOT reply.
"Oh, phew, my child is still getting his slop with mustard"
'It's Dijon mustard dad...'
Nothing is a bigger insult to the English way of life than fresh vegetables
The English built their entire imperial fortune on the international trade of exotic spices, teas, coffees, and chocolates. Horrific human atrocities were committed to cultivate the banana. Nightmarish acts of barbarity were performed to mass produce indigo and rum. People were dismembered by cannon fire to guarantee the free flow of turmeric and saffron.
Hell, mustard was one such condiment. You're not growing mustard plants on the Orkney Islands.
Its just so deliberately ahistoric. Like, I know The Mail exists to make anyone with a fucking education cringe. But god damn, they're good at their jobs.
they grow mustard in iceland, apparently lol. the english get off on that one
People were dismembered by cannon fire
I read about this; it sounds like hyperbole but horrifically it was real.
Southeastern Europe, sure. But Brits want to hear about Syrian Mustard about as much as they want to hear about Syrian immigrants.
I've like watching James Mays sandwiches of the 70s video and it is wild that for a cooler decades that God forsaken island considered Russian dressing to be their version of a fresh vegetable.
The most unimpressive middle aged man you've ever met who knows that deep down nobody has ever done anything as impressive as the time he graduated from his local high-school with a 2.4 GPA before becoming a "project manager" for his dad's construction company with 4 employees.
idealists confronted with the sheer reactionary nature of the average worker
The Ham Sandwich people think they can overcome their addiction to the ham sandwich. Next they will think they can stop drinking the Al-Gul and eating potatoGood comments on that article lol
Bacon and banana is the way to go
IIRC that's what Elvis used to eat: peanut butter with bacon and banana sandwich, deep fried.
I've heard it was also his use of opiates. Opiates constipate you really hard and he just put forward too much effort taking a shit.
Anybody who unironically complain about "woke condiments" should 100%, unironically have all of their electronic devices confiscated and be forced to do hard labor for a couple weeks. They clearly need to take a step back and recontextualize some things.
Bringing back the Gulag system but for people who complained about olive oil based mayonnaise being sold in stores
First #Boomers created the sandwich
Then #GenX ate the sandwich
Then #Millenials killed the sandwich
Then #Zoomers woke the sandwich
Imagine what #Alphas will do tomorrow
"On God," and "no cap" means "on sourdough" and "hold the mushrooms."
LOL, LMAO even!
https://muckrack.com/zac-campbell
Audience Writer, Daily Mail
Covers: Principally covering football, I have also written for Wisden Cricket Monthly and the NME.
Doesn't Cover: I focus solely on sport.
Social bloodsport
I cannot be alone in thinking that if one of the listings on a menu was just described as "Fancy Woke" I just need to order that thing even if I'm not really hungry. Offering a sandwich with that filling would probably just be a sound business decision.
Mustard is my go to for a ham sandwich so I am not woke, sadly
If I say I like a little bit of mayo and yellow mustard on a ham sandwhich does that make me bouigoiser or a wrecker?
Won't 
