I know it’s gonna be about some kid playing the sims and they kid sucked into the computer or some shit but…. jfc man

  • sloth [none/use name]
    hexbear
    46
    2 months ago

    It would be fun to go see a movie where a person has a house, has a job, buys furniture, does chores and yardwork, culminating in a modest party.

    Have it be completely mundane except every character speaks in the nonsense Simglish language, give it a 3 1/2 hour runtime.

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      hexbear
      12
      2 months ago

      Now that I'm thinking about it - I'm actually surprised that doesn't already exist as a Youtube video genre. A mashup of reality tv and ASMR verbal nonsense. An attractive, very popular Youtuber could probably get the entire genre started all by themself.

      "PHtelt gartfff laaamm! I grokffffffffphttt daaaaaaaaaaaaatph uugggint!... Nnnnnt, wwwwwwoooo blooor ttttttttph!" in other words "Are you ready! Lets go furniture shopping!... Oh, where are my keys!"

    • Rom [he/him]
      hexbear
      7
      edit-2
      2 months ago

      One sim meets another for the first time, aggressively flirts with them, and by the end of the day the second sim has agreed to move in.

  • HiImThomasPynchon [des/pair, it/its]
    hexbear
    36
    2 months ago

    Okay so the Sims movie is going to be about a pool party that goes horribly awry when the ladder just disappears one day. People will stagger around trying to figure out how to get people out of the pool for 90 minutes, and the direction will keep everyone guessing who's gonna die til the final moments.

  • WhyEssEff [she/her]M
    hexbear
    34
    2 months ago

    White Guy Orders Food In Perfect Simlish, Shocks Entire Restaurant

  • BoxedFenders [any, comrade/them]
    hexbear
    26
    2 months ago

    It takes just one overperforming hit in an untapped genre for Hollywood to dedicate the next 5 years churning out copies to replicate its success.

    • Rom [he/him]
      hexbear
      11
      2 months ago

      They're going to learn the exact wrong lessons about why the movie was successful. We don't need good writers, people loved the movie because they love Barbie!

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]
      hexbear
      24
      2 months ago

      Showing up to the box office and playing the Reverse card so they have to give me all the proceeds from the film (I am now $25 million in debt and I will be forced to close my film studio)

      • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
        hexbear
        8
        2 months ago

        "I will have you know, good sirs - I am also the owner of the official Uno NFT. So the answer is yes - 'I am legit.' " Readjusts monocle.

  • btbt [he/him]
    hexbear
    21
    2 months ago

    A good writer could probably have the audience sympathize with the Sims by making them into real, fleshed out people and then make them get fucked with at the hands of terminally-online so it becomes a story about how people act when they think their actions don’t have consequences and how they treat people they don’t see as fully human, but what do I know

  • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]
    hexbear
    19
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    The NPCs and locations in The Sims do actually have pretty fleshed out backstories. I was only ever a pretty casual player of The Sims, so all of that went over my head, but there are certainly some fans who obsess over the surprisingly rich lore.

    • laziestflagellant [they/them]
      hexbear
      9
      2 months ago

      Us Strangetown enjoyers finally get the cinematic experience we deserve with graphic on screen alien impregnation

  • sempersigh [he/him]
    hexagon
    hexbear
    17
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    Writers room: okay so play-doh…. Uhhhh

    Writer 1: Wot if the play-doh kids played with came to life and talked

    Writer 2: wot if we dramatize a fake story about some fake person who invented play-doh

    both look at each other

    Writers (in unison): What if we dramatize a fake story about some fake person who invented play-doh AND the play-doh comes to life and the only person who can communicate with the play-doh is that guy and he teams up with the play-doh (along with his quirked up kindergarten teacher love interest) to uh… save America or something.

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
    hexbear
    15
    2 months ago

    If it's a depiction of the way I played the sims then it's a few hours of people pissing themselves then dying on fire

    • Rom [he/him]
      hexbear
      7
      2 months ago

      The sim who looks suspiciously like me tries to bang everyone in town.

    • buckykat [none/use name]
      hexbear
      5
      2 months ago

      That movie was blatantly pro-Union propaganda and therefore based.

      The NPCs go on strike and end up with a world of literally rainbows and unicorns.

  • Awoo [she/her]
    hexbear
    12
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    It's not a real life simulator.

    The economy of sims world is absolutely bonkers. It's ridiculously easy for every "sim" to earn enough to eventually have a fabulous house.

    The easiest way to do a Sims movie is to do it the same way Barbie was done, by exaggerating the insanity of the Sims world suburbs and the lifestyles they all live.

    The Sims is a "real life" simulator if real life worked the way liberals pretend the world works. It is a fantasy.

  • Xx_Aru_xX [she/her]
    hexbear
    9
    2 months ago

    hear me out, maybe the movie can work if it's a horror movie about kids who were murdered and their spirits who possessed Sims characters of their killers and they scare me and it's called Sims.exe and it looks like this

    spoiler

    Show

  • @SSJ2Marx
    hexbear
    9
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    Maybe they do something with the Sims canon, like it's about the Goths and the Landgraabs having a fued Romeo and Juliet style.

    But they're probably gonna do something like, "the Sims learn that they're a video game" or some shit idk.

    • 7bicycles [he/him]
      hexbear
      5
      2 months ago

      I'm not versed on Sims lore so what would separate Goths vs. Landgraabs from any other rival families plot