SALUTE

I have barely watched Breaking Bad

07 flag-trans-pride 07

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Let's have another good week everyone lets-fucking-go trans-ferret

  • SnowySkyesM
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    I wish I had more to talk about these days. I guess when you hit 2 years into transition, the exciting stuff is ongoing or has already occurred. Not much to get super excited about except the slow, gradual transition that's not so fast like breasts or what have you. Skin's smooth. Breasts, heaving. Body hair, thinned. Voice, trained. Vagina, gotten. Fat, redistributed/ing. Idk, I feel out of place here nowadays. Kinda sucks. Guess I could talk about top surgery and how it's going to even out my breasts? Seems like a boring thing to drone on about.

    EDIT: I just realized this post can be considered humble bragging. I swear to the gods I just wanted to make a post about how I can't really relate to a lot of you anymore :\

    • ashinadash [she/her]
      ·
      5 months ago

      I guess when you hit 2 years into transition, the exciting stuff is ongoing or has already occurred.

      I feel crusty and aged reading this yes-honey-left

      Cool and exciting things can still happen many years into transition ofc, both in physical and internal, self terms. You could always drone on about top surgery too, but I thought at one point I was "done and boring and can't relate", and I'm still here lol

      • Thallo [she/her]
        ·
        5 months ago

        When I first saw you in the mega, I thought you were early in your transition because of how much trans posting you did susie-laugh

        • ashinadash [she/her]
          ·
          5 months ago

          To be fair I also had a quantum collapse resident to my brain re: gender around that time, so basil-anxious-smile that's not an unreasonable assumption imo.

          Aside from that though, I mostly think about being trans a lot because I like it and it's fucken awsum. You might be able to tell given half my posting is only tangentially trans related, but I can also let it fall into the background as a comfortable hum. Idk if I'll have more huge revelations, but I might discover more about what makes my funny gender tick! And I love trans posting trans-heart

      • Yor [she/her]
        ·
        5 months ago

        +1 there are always more exciting experiences out there!

      • SnowySkyesM
        ·
        5 months ago

        Perhaps I'm just a smidgen myopic on the matter. What I mean is that the big changes seem to have completed. I know I'm not done yet, but the big picture has more or less fallen into place and it's just a matter of touching it up to get it perfect. Kinda like edge highlighting a miniature. It's acceptable as is, but let's make it really nice.

        I know I droned on about my bottom surgery in the weeks leading up to it. It just kinda feels like I'm bragging and throwing it in people's faces. Hence the edit on the original post. I had an event happen in college that really pounded out the idea of bragging or droning on about oneself. I try to avoid it as much as I can, as hard as it can be when one's autistic. Perhaps just avoiding talking about myself in a positive manner.

        • BountifulEggnog [she/her]
          ·
          5 months ago

          I'm pre everything, as you might remember. I don't feel like you are bragging or throwing it in my face. I am really happy for you, I feel really happy when you talk about the good things happening for you, and seeing trans people like you be happy fills me with hope for my future.

          Please don't stop talking about yourself in a positive way.

          • SnowySkyesM
            ·
            5 months ago

            It's hard to want to after the negative experiences I've had in the past. I used to be an egotistical little shit, and I can see how awful it made other people view me. I just don't want to revert to that person.

        • Yor [she/her]
          ·
          5 months ago

          just want to agree with other responses again and say this limitation you're putting on yourself seems very much self-imposed, because I think people here are just going to be happy for you (even if everyone's progress and situation is a bit different). I didn't see you talking about bottom surgery as droning on, I saw it as something good you were excited about. it is nice that you're mindful of other people's situations, but there doesn't need to be a guilt that you're doing well. after all, feeling lost after checking the big boxes of transition and another sense of loss you've been feeling and posted about are both completely valid and difficult to work through

        • ashinadash [she/her]
          ·
          5 months ago

          "Myopic", you are only two years into it tbf =) But yeah that's a fair perception of your own situation, I think. You might try different lighting that makes the miniature look way different or reveals part of the paint you've never seen, but you also might not Idk!

          Talking about yourself is cool, if it's bragging I'm ridiculously self centered 'cause I use this place like livejournal sometimes. Lots of people do, so fwiw I think it'd be super fine to do. It's probably good to keep in mind that people are gonna have mixed feelings 'cause bottom surgery is out of reach for many, but I also don't think that precludes "droning on" about it if you want, if it's important to you. Also talk about yourself in a positive manner wtf >:|

          • SnowySkyesM
            ·
            5 months ago

            I was a little shit in college and got properly called out for it. I'm afraid I'll revert to being said little shit again.

            • ashinadash [she/her]
              ·
              5 months ago

              Well y'know, that's what self crit is for, and people are nice in this thread so I doubt anyone will obliterate you about it. Like Yor said you are allowed to talk positively about yourself!

    • Thallo [she/her]
      ·
      5 months ago

      I swear to the gods I just wanted to make a post about how I can't really relate to a lot of you anymore

      Your edit is actually the biggest humble brag in the post michael-laugh

      Do you think being trans is a part of your everyday existence still? Or has it become passive and something you don't think about much?

      You could always stick around to be a mentor. Or you could just post about not trans stuff.

      I know we're all happy to have you here, and I think a lot of us think it's a GOOD thing you can't relate haha.

      • SnowySkyesM
        ·
        5 months ago

        It's definitely passive. I don't think about it anymore. I take my estrogen shot every Monday and boom, done. Everything else feels second nature.

        I try to mentor somewhat around here. It's my primary function really. I just...feel really bad when I have to tell people "hey, it takes time, please be patient" so they don't get unrealistic expectations and fall into depression when, say, their breasts haven't grown within the first couple months or something similar. There's nothing wrong with being happy and positive of course, but I know that I fell into some depression when certain aspects of my transition took longer than usual to take place than it did for others.

    • magi [null/void]M
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      I wish I could be done in two years, I have at this point a possibility going another 5 before I see the possible light at the end of the tunnel and I've already been at this almost a decade.

      In my transition I've been transfemme, went through a failed transphobic system to be left with nothing. To start again at square one with a possibility of never feeling done or having bottom surgery. To come out of that knowintg im agender and an enby.

      I still feel like I can relate to fellow acespec, queer and non binary enbys on here along with fellow neurodiverse. Theres more rhan likely a few here that will probably be done before I am.

      • MusicOwl [comrade/them, sie/hir]M
        ·
        4 months ago

        I really love seeing fellow acespec enbies here, tbh. I still got a lot of shit to figure out a year and change into my transition. Happy to be posting with you. trans-heart comrade-raccoon

        • magi [null/void]M
          ·
          4 months ago

          Same, it's great to see other enbies on here too c: trans-heart comrade-raccoon

    • sneak100
      ·
      edit-2
      2 months ago

      deleted by creator

      • SnowySkyesM
        ·
        5 months ago

        I wouldn't say I'm finished per se, but that all the biggest changes have either happened or are currently happening on a slow scale. Just I've gotten through a lot of the super exciting stuff and things are more or less normalized in my mind.

        I know it's for whatever random stuff people think of, but I don't like just saying stuff for the sake of saying stuff. Also that thing where I try not to talk about myself too terribly much. IDK, I think I'm thinking too hard on all of this. But it's probably just learned behaviors fucking with me.

        • sneak100
          ·
          edit-2
          2 months ago

          deleted by creator

    • kristina [she/her]M
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      Dw you still get lots of changes even a decade on. Still only beginning whippersnapper

      And yeah part of maturing as a trans person is getting better, understanding the struggle to get there, and helping people in worse positions

      cat-trans

      • SnowySkyesM
        ·
        5 months ago

        Yeah? I suppose I don't personally know anyone really further along than 3 years so I don't honestly know. I know there's still a lot of shaping and what have you left, but idk, I'm not sure what else to expect?

        • kristina [she/her]M
          ·
          edit-2
          5 months ago

          Facial changes, breast development, fat redistribution continue 10+ years on. My cheeks got bigger for instance, had a boob growth spurt at 10 years hrt randomly, went up a full cup at same weight. For reference I transitioned at 19 and I'm old as fuck now

          2 years makes me think "ah so cute baby trans" tbh meow-hug

          • PopPrincess [she/her]
            ·
            5 months ago

            Do you think breast growth can still happen if it stalled after 6 months HRT? Like I haven't had any growth since then and now I'm at 2 years and 2 months. At this point I kind of hope not as I'm hoping to get a BA within a years time😩

            Also, when did you start feeling settled in your transition? I started at 19 too and I seem to pass now, but every day I still worry about getting clocked and what people think of me😩 I also still quite dislike my own appearance😖 I feel like I'm always chasing the next surgery or some other thing.

            • kristina [she/her]M
              ·
              edit-2
              5 months ago

              It took me a long time to not be so jumpy around cissies. Like 8 years? I also have major issues with anxiety so

              It took me 2 yrs to pass so a lot of that was in my head

              • BountifulEggnog [she/her]
                ·
                5 months ago

                scared I'm never going to feel comfortable around cissies again, am I chat?

                Not that I care, fuck 'em lol.

              • PopPrincess [she/her]
                ·
                5 months ago

                Ah yeah, I have anxiety too😭 Sometimes it feels like some person is just looking into my soul and knows I'm trans😭

            • kristina [she/her]M
              ·
              5 months ago

              As for breast growth, its kinda eldritch and hard to say, its different per person. I will say that weight cycling seems to trigger growth (gaining a lot of weight, losing some, etc)

              Also breast aug (fat transfer and implants) seem to cause breast growth in some people well after the fact.

              • PopPrincess [she/her]
                ·
                5 months ago

                Yaah it feels so random, but mostly it just feels like HRT does nothing for me😖 I am thinking of doing an extreme form of weight cycling by getting to an underweight BMI and then taking pioglitazone and putting on like 10-20 lbs🤔

          • SnowySkyesM
            ·
            5 months ago

            Gods, I hope that it still shows with my aging. I turn 35 here in a few days and I just don't want to think about it. And I hope that getting top surgery now won't screw with any future breast development, but it's necessary cause they refuse to fill in and kinda just want to grow and droop. I hate it.

        • kristina [she/her]M
          ·
          edit-2
          5 months ago

          Also, I look forward to aging. I genuinely enjoy seeing an older femme me. I feel like its not something discussed much.

          The achey bones kinda suck tho

          • ashinadash [she/her]
            ·
            5 months ago

            I look forward to aging. I genuinely enjoy seeing an older femme me.

            Ah fuck, this is so fuckin based cat-vibing I decided long ago that aging is Fine and Normal and Good Even, so I wouldn't stress about it. I feel like this sort of insight is EXACTLY the kind of shit that I've found lacking in other trans spaces. Rad.

      • SnowySkyesM
        ·
        5 months ago

        I feel like I cheated and I genuinely hate that feeling :\

        • iridaniotter [she/her, she/her]
          ·
          edit-2
          4 months ago

          Nooo I wouldn't feel bad. Although I do get it. Like compared to other trans women you got things done pretty quickly (same). But cis people still have it 10x easier than even you. Really we should want as many trans people as possible to have an experience at least as swift as you've had.

          Edit: also it's not like you're unaware of your (relative to other trans people but definitely not cis people) good luck

      • SnowySkyesM
        ·
        5 months ago

        No, not really :\

        I honestly should've just deleted the post instead of editing it. I feel that it was a mistake.

    • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
      ·
      5 months ago

      I just realized this post can be considered humble bragging. I swear to the gods I just wanted to make a post about how I can't really relate to a lot of you anymore :\

      Same thing/hj/nm