body-without-sex-organs

  • KittyBobo [he/him, comrade/them]
    hexbear
    96
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    Reminds me of how weird my mom was when I said I wanted a strawberry cake for my birthday because it was pink. I just liked strawberry, I didn't care what color it was.

    • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
      hexbear
      40
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      truly wild the extent to which people are policed on innocuous things like this. I remember when kids at school decided that liking bears was girly and boys could only like reptiles

    • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]
      hexbear
      39
      7 months ago

      could she just like... make it like blue razzberry flavor but with strawberry?

      • KittyBobo [he/him, comrade/them]
        hexbear
        54
        7 months ago

        I dunno, just one of those early things that didn't make sense to me as a kid. But then I did turn out to be kinda gay and genderqueer but I don't think pink frosting had anything to do with it. Or maybe it did 🤔

    • magi [she/her, they/them]
      hexbear
      8
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      I've only ever had one birthday cake, chocolate, was sickening but I was I dunno 7 or 8 , memory stands out. I dunno, parents should do what their kids want and give them what they want for their birthday without scrutiny/ question (within reason ofc) kids should be made to feel special on their birthday, it's their special day after all

  • Nagarjuna [he/him]
    hexbear
    82
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    I used to work for a sports merchandise store and I regularly had women ask me if it was okay for their husbands to wear teal jerseys.

    Like

    1. Your husband will not explode if he puts on a Jaguars or Mariners jersey.

    2. I love that my queer ass is the authority on cis-het masculinity. Like, yeah dude, teal is a manly color now. In fact, no one is talking about it, but so is fuchsia. Have you considered buying him a breast cancer awareness jersey?

      • Nagarjuna [he/him]
        hexbear
        27
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        Hockey men make me feel gay as hell, so there might be something there

        BUt also!

        San Jose has no fucking buisness having a hockey team. There's no ice. A hockey team on the west coast is just a flex that your city has at least 1 billionaire from the Midwest living in it.

    • CthulhusIntern [he/him]
      hexbear
      16
      7 months ago

      Lionel Messi, the guy everyone loves in soccer, and is largely seen as one of the greatest of all time, currently wears a pink jersey.

  • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]
    hexbear
    78
    7 months ago

    yea

    I had some relatives question a woodland theme to toys and bedding for a baby boy. Lots of green and brown, plus some snails, rabbits, deer and shit.

    CW hunting

    In the end they rationalized it by saying they guess he can be a hunter. Now I'm wondering how many of the hunters I know just want to go camping but feel like it's too feminine if they aren't trying to kill anything

    • Futterbinger [he/him, they/them]
      hexbear
      50
      7 months ago

      Most hunters I know just wanna hang out in a cabin and drink beers with the bros. Same goes for ice fishing.

      • Smeagolicious [they/them]
        hexbear
        32
        7 months ago

        My dad was a hunter for my entire childhood and he never shot a thing. He just liked having an excuse to enjoy the mid-late autumn wilderness.

        spoiler

        It was actually nice going on a couple trips with him and sitting in a completely silent forest early in the morning, quiet enough to hear the snow falling

      • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]
        hexbear
        20
        7 months ago

        What about Tarzan? Boy Scouts? Camping? Fucking hell, call it a dopamine detox and it's masculine enough. This shit's crazy. What, does it need tar and asphalt to be masculine? If you have too much tar and asphalt, you're too removed from nature and you must retvrn because city living has rotted your teeth and made you like EDM.

  • @Great_Leader_Is_Dead
    hexbear
    67
    7 months ago

    do boy like coloring

    This one seems weird even by cis people standards

    • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
      hexbear
      56
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      the standards are pretty weird and contradictory especially around the edges

      for example it is unmasculine to be too educated but also "girls can't do maths". Women can't learn fractions but must be excelent cooks

      both institutional sexism against female artists and "is it ok for a boy to like colouring"

      for everything else the gender binary standards are they are also self contradictory gibberish

      • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
        hexbear
        22
        7 months ago

        Food math is fucking hard. It's also not standardized, sometimes assumes all liquids have the same weight by volume as water etc. This is more of a professional thing than a home thing but twice a year I've gotta do food costing which means converting all this normal cooking shorthand to grams while making a typical version of each item so we know how much of how much goes into each so the cost can be broken down. On menu changes the other parts of the year i usually have to do the opposite and convert weight by gram based ingredient measurements to something people can use. The number crunching here can be something else. Me and a pal who are both very good at working through data made a streamlined formula, he's a former geologists and I'm an attempted geographer who is good at statistics, it still took some real ass effort between us. It was worth it cause we have a system down for each time and I can't complain a whole lot more than I normally do, he's a good dude who gave me a DS9 model kit out of the blue who actually has this responsibility while being paid what I do cause I can encourage he get a raise when I demand mine frequently but he's gotta come forward about it. I have his authority in a practical though non official sense and none of the responsibility, if I didn't make his life easier I'd be a bad person.

          • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
            hexbear
            19
            7 months ago

            Used to be a baker. Now we do some. It's an Italian restaurant and our main thing is pizzas. It's fairly upscale and we do our dough and bread from scratch. When I was a baker I basically had to invent recipes myself cause the previous guy quit right as I came in and took everything with him. I hacked a lot of it out freestyle until I had solid recipes that i then followed like a religion unless I was feeling crafty

      • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]
        hexbear
        19
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        it is unmasculine to be too educated but also "girls can't do maths"

        Nothing cranks my tractor quite as quickly as the idea of some over-educated soyjack complaining about a problem only for the wise redneck sage who Tells It Like It Is(TM) after a hard career of Making the Hard Decisions(TM) to come in and hit the TV with a wrench or turn it to W for Wumbo. It's so thought terminating and can easily and often be unhelpful.

        • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
          hexbear
          16
          7 months ago

          there's also a class aspect to that (social not economic) as those standards don't exist for the upper class. Their masculinity doesn't demand ignorance

            • g_g [they/them]
              hexbear
              12
              7 months ago

              almost certainly not the best example but dennis prager comes to mind for me. he's a manly man that smokes cigars and dresses in suits and what have you but he's also so "educated" that he's "qualified" to be an "educator".

      • keepcarrot [she/her]
        hexbear
        19
        7 months ago

        Women can't learn fractions but must be excelent cooks

        But also professional cooks are generally men

    • Phish [he/him, any]
      hexbear
      33
      7 months ago

      Yeah that just sounds like somebody who doesn't know anything about kids

    • AssortedBiscuits [they/them]
      hexbear
      24
      7 months ago

      The dumb thought process is coloring -> creating art -> being an artist -> artists are gay -> being gay is effeminate

    • ZapataCadabra [he/him]
      hexbear
      17
      7 months ago

      I mean in my experience working with young kids, girls were more likely to pick coloring as a free time activity than boys. Some boys still would and obviously it's gendered. Probably in a subtle way but it's related to the socializing of "girls like crafts, boys run around."

  • BrezhnevsEyebrows [he/him]
    hexbear
    64
    7 months ago

    This shit makes me so mad, even more so because I know that if I ever raised a son I couldnt stop other people from conditioning him this way

    • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
      hexbear
      55
      7 months ago

      most of the bad ideas a young boy raised in a non toxic household is going to be exposed to are probably going to come from other boys their age. Shortly followed by the internet and then tv

      providing a space where they can be vulnerable at home is from my childhood experience at least pretty helpful

      • BrezhnevsEyebrows [he/him]
        hexbear
        48
        7 months ago

        Very true. I remember when i was a small boy i used to let my mom paint my nails because I thought it was cool. Then at the park one of the other boys sneered "only girls paint their nails" and I never wore nail polish again. But I doubt that behavior like this is innate in children

        • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
          hexbear
          36
          7 months ago

          When I went to pick up a family friend's son from daycare a couple months ago, some of the boys had nail polish. They weren't being teased over it either. The kids are all right.

        • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
          hexbear
          33
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          no they learned it from elsewhere in society. What I am saying is that you can't just remove a boy (or girl) from society and the negative ideas it will teach them. At least not completely

          • BrezhnevsEyebrows [he/him]
            hexbear
            33
            7 months ago

            I know. Which makes me sad, because I want to protect kids from the harm the patriarchy inflicts on them. Shits just fucked, and like you said a good home environment where they can express themselves is really the best I can do on an individual level

            • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
              hexbear
              25
              edit-2
              7 months ago

              the personal is political. Helping protect just one child from this is helping the grander society shift as well. Like water droplets that cut through stone helping enough individual people have better ideas can help shift the culture overall

        • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
          hexbear
          15
          7 months ago

          In elementary school I remember a Friday when a girl was going around saying "does any BOY want his nails painted?"

          The most gruff boy in the grade accepted, and got one hand pink and one hand purple. Walked around the rest of the afternoon with a very proud smile on his face. In retrospect it was glorious.

        • magi [she/her, they/them]
          hexbear
          4
          7 months ago

          You should try it again, see if you like it now that you're grown, nobody to tell you off this time

      • Adkml [he/him]
        hexbear
        27
        7 months ago

        As you mentioned the internet, specifically YouTube is really precarious for falling down any number of incredibly brainstormed rabbit holes.

        I feel crazy wondering if the kids dressing up as Disney characters while their parents film are about to launch into a Prager u lecture.

        • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
          hexbear
          27
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          Andrew Tate especially should not have access to kids and it is deeply irresponsible and fucked up to allow a human traficker and groomer access to impressionable children

          and what he's doing is very much grooming

  • SerLava [he/him]
    hexbear
    60
    7 months ago

    "Oh yeah yeah you're right Sharon, play food is for women and the gay, OK here." drops loaded snubnosed revolver on the counter

  • star_wraith [he/him]
    hexbear
    59
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    As a parent of little kids I am now one million percent convinced all of this gendered “girls naturally like pink and ponies and boys naturally like blue and dinos” is utter nonsense. I try as best I can to just let my kids explore whatever they want and they do not fall along any of these gendered lines.

    But ultimately, it feels like a losing battle since everyone in my life (partner included) as well as all of society is fighting against me on this. As my kids have gotten older I can already see how they are falling being pushed into gendered interests. But I know it’s not some organic interest. I can draw the lines and point to how they get so much societal push on these things.

    • Dessa [she/her]
      hexbear
      39
      7 months ago

      This is why a few more radical parents dont reveal their childrens AGAB to others. It comes with its own set of challenges, I'm sure, but I sure wish I had a little more space from cisnormativity growing up

    • CrimsonSage [any]
      hexbear
      21
      7 months ago

      It doesn't help that children are super primed to perceive and understand gender, kind of like how they are with language.

      • magi [she/her, they/them]
        hexbear
        7
        7 months ago

        Seen a lot of people who don't think kids are that smart, inquisitive or can grasp concepts and things like that. Some people have problems themselves being ignorant and reluctant to learn and project it I guess, would explain that line of thinking

    • Melonius [he/him]
      hexbear
      19
      7 months ago

      I dropped my kid off at a day care camp for 1 evening and the first thing the counselors did was separate boys from girls in two lines sadness

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
    hexbear
    58
    7 months ago

    I worked at a GameStop briefly. One time had a lady customer ask me if we could exchange a game in a Wii box for a PS2 box since her son in the military might think the white box is too feminine

  • @JohannaChittarra
    hexbear
    57
    7 months ago

    BEWARE: An object’s ability to reflect certain wavelengths of light has the direct effect of permanently altering your child’s gender identity with repeat exposure.

      • UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her]
        hexbear
        35
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        Fun fact: In most Roman languages that assign genders to inanimate objects (that I know of), the Sun is usually male (le soleil, el sol, il sole) and the Moon female (la lune, la luna). In German it's the opposite for some reason, the Sun is female (die Sonne) and the Moon male (der Mond).

        In German, the Sun is trans. Pass it on.

        • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
          hexbear
          7
          7 months ago

          The sun produces oppressive heat in Southern Europe, it is a rare sight in Northern Europe. Cultural connotations of masculinity being harsh and femininity being comforting.

      • LeZero [he/him]
        hexbear
        28
        7 months ago

        Do we have an emote of Trump staring directly into a solar eclipse?

      • magi [she/her, they/them]
        hexbear
        9
        7 months ago

        As a goth with translucent skin you learn to avoid the sun, I avoid the sun like the plague lol

          • magi [she/her, they/them]
            hexbear
            9
            edit-2
            7 months ago

            I mean I started trans femme, and recently realised trans femme non binary (transbian enby) :) I absorb the darkness instead it's what fuels me. That and I burn easily lol

    • barrbaric [he/him]
      hexbear
      31
      7 months ago

      Given what chuds think 5G can do, I think you just cracked the code.

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]
    hexbear
    56
    7 months ago

    I remember being a kid and my dad refusing to let me buy a Jigglypuff stuffie because "It's pink"

    Well, guess what daddy, I have like ten of them now

  • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]
    hexbear
    53
    7 months ago

    a customer remind me she was buying a gift for a boy when I suggested play food

    COMMUNISM CISGENDER MALE = NO FOOD

  • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]
    hexbear
    49
    7 months ago

    a customer telling her daughter she can't give out ice cream stickers because there will be boys at the party

    wait a minute... if boys can't have ice cream... then what's the deal with all those memes about Joe Biden eating ice cream???

    Joe Biden trans woman confirmed

  • Frogmanfromlake [none/use name]
    hexbear
    48
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    No they aren't and I see this shit all the time at work. Dudes always pull up with their big ass pickup trucks bragging about how big and intimidating their car is. Refuse to touch electric cars or anything smaller than an SUV because "only queers and women drive those"

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexbear
      37
      7 months ago

      No they aren't and I see this shit all the time at work. Dudes always pull up with their big ass pickup trucks bragging about how big and intimidating their car is. Refuse to touch electric cars or anything smaller than an SUV because "only queers and women drive those"

      ZYBERTRUKKK(tm) is being marketed specifically to those insecure dudebro nerds... and they're buying it. soypoint-1 melon-musk soypoint-2

      • Adkml [he/him]
        hexbear
        17
        7 months ago

        Yea those dumb shits are the reason American pickup trucks are completly fucking useless, cost $90k and get 7 miles to the gallon.

        Stupid fucking land tanks can't even drive in the snow and have a fucking 4 foot bed to boot.

        Gimme a tiny truck with the bare minimum amount of electronics in it God damn it.