Redditism 1: "It's the internet. You are allowed to swear." young-sheldon

I hate when some very grown-ass adult says that because someone didn't cuss enough for their taste. I swear all the time in my posts here but I still find that shit really, really tryhard and it seems more immature than not saying the naughty word to me.

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Redditism 2: Ending a rebuke with a question mark when it's not a question to make it sound extra snippy.

I've heard this being compared to a "vocal fry" and maybe it is, and coming from CA, vocal fries were often said out loud as a form of subtle hostility toward people perceived as lessers, such as retail and restaurant workers. If you need an example of what I'm talking about, it usually goes something like this:

Poster: "I think (opinion)." i-think-that

Redditism enjoyer: "You're wrong?" smuglord

Redditism 3: "Do you need help? Who hurt you? Help is available if you need it, buddy!" heated-gamer-moment

This one is the worst one I can think of right now because it contaminates even the very possibility of showing sincere care and concern for someone else. It comes loaded with the implication that the person that was "hurt" or "needs help" is fundamentally wrong and should shut up. Fuck that ableist shit, forever. guts-rage

    • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]
      ·
      20 days ago

      "this is the way" bothers the fuck out of me. Might as well clap like a seal and go "THIS".

      Alright, let's try...

      47:4 When you meet the disbelievers in battle, strike them in the neck, and once they are defeated, bind any captives firmly — later you can release them by grace or ransom — until the toils of war have ended.

      ☝️ THIS!! ☝️

      Allah could have defeated them Himself if He had willed, but His purpose is to test some of you by means of others.

      ...I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't think it hits quite the same.

  • LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    20 days ago

    Generic ass joke

    Edit: didn't think this would blow up

    Edit 2: thanks for the gold kind stranger

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      20 days ago

      "I AM GOING TO BE DOWNVOTED FOR THIS, BUT" (very brave upvoting bait) ron-sugar-man

  • weeen [any, any]
    ·
    edit-2
    20 days ago

    (...) is bad, actually

    Someone posted a Shinzo Abe death meme on twitter, then came the 'Making fun of someone's death is bad, actually' civility lib faded

    spoiler

    lmao I just got this tagline

    Show

    • KobaCumTribute [she/her]
      ·
      20 days ago

      "[thing] is [bad/good], actually" is a pretty good stilted sardonic line, especially for making fun of libs. Good things are bad, actually. Bad things are good, actually. Actively sabotaging yourself and trying to collaborate with your ontologically evil opposition is just smart political strategy, actually.

      It's just so awkward and bad it really just brings the rest of it together.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      20 days ago

      @Civility@hexbear.net posting mandates are just the internet version of anti-bullying rules that are mastered and exploited by bullies almost immediately. the-more-you-know

    • stink@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      20 days ago

      Had a bunch of shitlibs on instagram posting about how we should care about trump's assassination attempt. Called one of them out on it and she reported me lmao

  • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
    ·
    20 days ago

    It's not solely a reddit ism and I'm not immune from doing similar things but when it's just the same tired jokes over and over in reply to articles or whatever.

    Like say it's an article about Russia doing anything and invariably there's a homophobic joke about Trump and Putin being gay together. Again and again. Over and over. Like watching a train pass by where every car looks the same.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      20 days ago

      Yeah, that shit is dreadfully common in offline conversation too.

      I can handle in-jokes and even traditional cliches (Hexbear has its own for sure) but I hate when something horrid and hateful is normalized and repeated like "dae Putler and Drumpf gay amirite" or even just normalization cognitohazards like "Anne Frankly I did nazi that coming" cryptofascist

      • heggs_bayer [none/use name]
        ·
        20 days ago

        I did nazi that coming.

        That quip is so old, worn out, and predictable that I audibly moan in annoyance when I see it.

        • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
          ·
          19 days ago

          Isn't it like a refurbished joke from Hogan's Heroes? "I know nazing!" Which would make the joke about 60 years old.

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]
      ·
      20 days ago

      I do not understand how people enjoy r*ddit "humor." It's the same jokes non-stop. They will beat a dead horse years after it died. Almost every "joke" discussion turns into:

      1. References to The Office
      2. References to The Sopranos
      3. Attack helicopter copy pasta "did you assume my ____?"
      4. Drumpf Pootin Winnie the Pooh
      5. Song lyrics
      6. "I also choose this guy's ____."
      7. Mom helps son masturbate "help me step bro I'm stuck"

      It's almost a guarantee any non-serious topic will devolve into one of the above topics and will go on for dozens of comments.

    • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
      ·
      19 days ago

      Like watching a train pass by where every car looks the same.

      Those are called unit trains and they mostly suck ass for the environment but are highly profitable for the railroads because they don't have to do a lot of switching and are typically sent to just a few customers. Examples include coal trains and oil trains. Grain trains are kind of ok, but the coal and oil must stop.

  • Feinsteins_Ghost [he/him]
    ·
    20 days ago

    I just generally wish Reddit would die. And everything associated with it. Fuck Reddit forever.

    • Des [she/her, they/them]
      ·
      20 days ago

      yeah also im really digging this hybrid forum-style thing we are developing into

  • Zoift [he/him]
    ·
    20 days ago

    A reference to something is not a joke. Monty Python et al isn't funny outside of context.

      • Zoift [he/him]
        ·
        20 days ago

        I dream of a society where I would be gulliotined as a poster

        • keepcarrot [she/her]
          ·
          20 days ago

          Eh, I think in-jokes are pretty normal in most communities, and most in-jokes aren't that funny, they just exist to strengthen a social fabric. The content of specific in-jokes can absolutely suck though.

          UlyssesT calling out my Australian rise (apparently this is called a high rising terminal, or HRT, an acronym that would not be confusing on hexbo). I think it's more of a "I'm not married to this sentence, please don't kneecap me over it", but 90% of Australian communication is either that or thinly veiled barbs asserting your social position.

          • UlyssesT [he/him]
            hexagon
            ·
            20 days ago

            UlyssesT calling out my Australian rise

            I think if I heard such a thing being said by people in casual non-hostile conversation enough I'd be fine with it. I'm actually fine with "valley girl" talk as it was in CA, even, but when the fry was used for deliberate hostile condescension (more common in my old area than "valley girl" was), I learned to hate that.

            • keepcarrot [she/her]
              ·
              20 days ago

              Fry and HRT are different things, fry is the low register "croak" that is viewed as negative if girls and young women do it, but positive if older men do it.

              HRT comes off as someone saying something but they're not confident about it and are groping around for some sort of approval or backup (for better or worse)

              • UlyssesT [he/him]
                hexagon
                ·
                20 days ago

                fry is the low register "croak" that is viewed as negative if girls and young women do it, but positive if older men do it.

                I hated it when older men did it at me, especially when I was toiling for minimum wage and they were venting their divorce dad frustrations at me.

                  • UlyssesT [he/him]
                    hexagon
                    ·
                    20 days ago

                    It might be a context thing for me, like if I was thrown from my bed and tormented every night by someone wearing a cool hat.

                        • keepcarrot [she/her]
                          ·
                          20 days ago

                          I am also gathering stories from my new place of work (Drafting office, mech eng)

                          • UlyssesT [he/him]
                            hexagon
                            ·
                            20 days ago

                            Sounds like worthwhile reads in the making.

                            • keepcarrot [she/her]
                              ·
                              20 days ago

                              Mostly slop, just the most brain dead liberal take about everything.

                              Also the sales reps at the defence company I was at had star sign conversations. Also it sucked in a really bureaucratic way (everything was mediated with Microsoft systems, no admin or even ability to use an ad blocker, so if I looked up an instructional video I had to watch a bunch of ads). The work load and standards of work were extremely low, so it was cruise in other ways. I ran pretty roughshod with restricted information (wasn't given anything classified to handle)

                              • UlyssesT [he/him]
                                hexagon
                                ·
                                20 days ago

                                Fear and Loathing at the Military-Industrial Job Faire hst-pissed

                                • keepcarrot [she/her]
                                  ·
                                  20 days ago

                                  Also engineers think of themselves as smart, but uh... They might be good at a few things but holy shit do a lot of people in the field have problems connecting nominally distant bits of information together.

          • Hexboare [they/them]
            ·
            19 days ago

            90% of Australian communication is either that or thinly veiled barbs asserting your social position.

            Some people reckon HRT (or AQI as below) is exactly that

            But far from indicating insecurity, some studies suggest that the AQI is often used by powerful people when speaking to their subordinates (thereby explaining why Australians use it when talking to Britons). The theory is that it's much more acceptable for a boss to ask an employee whether they understand something than vice versa. Linguists also believe the high-rising can serve other purposes. A rising intonation at the end of a statement (giving directions, for example) implicitly asks the listener to confirm that they understand what they've been told. Alternatively, it can be used to stop an anticipated interruption.

            • keepcarrot [she/her]
              ·
              19 days ago

              That scans

              obvs with all these language and culture things, nothing is one specific thing

          • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
            ·
            19 days ago

            90% of Australian communication is either that or thinly veiled barbs asserting your social position.

            could we get some examples plz

            • keepcarrot [she/her]
              ·
              19 days ago

              So, here, there's a constant jockeying for clout, you can watch a group of guys reinforce their social structure. An interaction might go like this:

              Guy 1: I'm interested in topic X, it is new to me but I find it enriching and I hope you do too Guys 2-5: This is actually terrible, and you're an idiot for thinking this might be good and that we'd enjoy it. And this happens almost constantly regardless of whether the group actually goes with topic X as an activity.

              It's an almost constant stream of belittlement and humiliation from all parties, regardless of whether there is any camaraderie or friendship. It is really exhausting, but I've noticed I've reflexively done it.

              • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]
                ·
                19 days ago

                Thank you for the clear explanation, this is something I have observed too. Very antisocial culture especially amongst men.

                • keepcarrot [she/her]
                  ·
                  19 days ago

                  I'm sure I could think of a specific example, but my brain is fried

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      20 days ago

      Song lyric comment chains fall under this category for me, too. debord-tired

  • Belly_Beanis [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    20 days ago
    1. Nothing you see on the internet is real. I mean this. Even if you have video of something, video and audio can be altered. Conversations can be edited to take things out of context. What especially is not real are comments by anonymous posters that are walls of text without any pictures, videos, or third party sources. R•dditors will gobble up anything they see. Absolutely nothing in whatever "Am I the parental legal relationship finance ask me about Bill Gates" subs are real. I hate they accept it as real. I hate they have hundreds of comments discussing these things that aren't real. I hate how it creates feedback loops for reactionaries to post as evidence of something being real when it's not. Pics related:

    Show

    Show

    1. Their humor is awful.

    2. Every sub is astroturfed or a government psyop, but they will pretend like their sub is not. Any fandom, hobby, or whatever niche will always have corporate stooges posting on behalf of the company. Any criticism of anything in those topics will be attacked with vitriol and real users will join the side of the stooges. Hall monitor getting buddy buddy with the campus cops energy.

    3. Their taste in art is awful. R•dditors will only go bazinga for paintings of attractive women, pop culture shit, and "realistic" art. Any abstract art or art with historical significance is frowned upon. Any experiments people do in niche communities are given contempt. The truth is, their taste is completely kitsch. Your aunt with Bettie Boop posters and Minions furniture has more artistic sense.

    4. Their taste in music is awful.

    5. They are deeply unserious about film. Yes, Requiem for a Dream is disturbing. No, it is not the most disturbing thing ever filmed. I'm not trying to be an edgelord. I just think Come and See, Antichrist, or Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer are all more messed up than two women sharing a double dildo. Also Quinton Tarantino is a hack.

    6. Referring to r•ddit outside of r•ddit. YouTube comments do not link to anything when you write "r/whoosh." There was nothing to be gained by adding "r/" other than making yourself look like a dipshit. Nobody on Instagram understands your stupid fucking bacon whale joke or whatever the fuck.

    7. They are flat-out wrong about so much shit I cannot believe others believe what is being said. For example, they will make predictions on Pokémon cards for people to "invest" in and end up getting dunked on by Nintendo or whoever runs Pokémon right now. But nobody learns the site is full of shit and they will continue to lose money. Hint: collectibles have never been good investments.

    That's all I have for now. I do not go to that site. I've never had an account there. Occasionally in the past I'd stumble onto something from searching, but that was enough exposure to make me hate the site. Unfortunately, they have spread to other parts of the internet and exposed us all to brainworms.

    • vegeta1 [none/use name]
      ·
      20 days ago

      A Serbian film was the most disturbing film for me. Not in a way that had me thinking for days like come and see and the other films you listed but in a "did this motherfucker really put that shit in there?" cat-confused

      • Belly_Beanis [he/him]
        ·
        20 days ago

        I've never seen it and don't want to. I know about the ending and whatnot, though. I think even putting it to film was more messed up than RFAD. A group of people wrote it up, showed it to other people, and they all decided "Yup! This is what we're gonna spend thousands of dollars to film!"

        Honestly the worst part about Requiem was the stuff with the older lady on dieting pills. You have to worry about elderly people isolated from the outside world plummeting into psychosis.

        • vegeta1 [none/use name]
          ·
          20 days ago

          Thats a good point. The director making it from her POV while confused and scared was well done.

        • Hexboare [they/them]
          ·
          19 days ago

          You have to worry about elderly people isolated from the outside world plummeting into psychosis.

          How else are we gonna warehouse them?

          The Human Rights Watch wrote a report on the use of chemical restraints amongst the elderly in the US. It concluded that antipsychotic drugs are sometimes used almost by default to control difficult-to-manage residents.[2] The FDA estimates 15,000 elderly individuals in nursing homes die each year due to the unnecessary use of anti-psychotics.

    • AssortedBiscuits [they/them]
      ·
      19 days ago

      Nothing you see on the internet is real. I mean this. Even if you have video of something, video and audio can be altered. Conversations can be edited to take things out of context. What especially is not real are comments by anonymous posters that are walls of text without any pictures, videos, or third party sources. R•dditors will gobble up anything they see. Absolutely nothing in whatever "Am I the parental legal relationship finance ask me about Bill Gates" subs are real. I hate they accept it as real. I hate they have hundreds of comments discussing these things that aren't real. I hate how it creates feedback loops for reactionaries to post as evidence of something being real when it's not. Pics related:

      People here legit had a struggle session over fake shit from that relationship advice subreddit.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      20 days ago

      As a (disadvantaged group) I think (same disadvantaged group) is bad. amogus

  • LocalOaf [they/them]
    ·
    20 days ago

    "shut up and take my money"

    Just say you think the thing is cool and want to buy it

  • quarrk [he/him]
    ·
    19 days ago

    Citing any of these

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies#Formal_fallacies

    • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]
      ·
      19 days ago

      God I remember when I was 14 or something, this wasn't on Reddit but I inexplicably became fascinated by pointing out fallacies. It did not take long before people told me I was being incredibly annoying, clearly not understanding what I was talking about, not contributing anything meaningful to any discussion, and just generally being a smartass making a fool of myself.

      Show Screencap from YuruYuri season 3 episode 11, 13:15, showing Yui Funami red with embarrassment, with whited out eyes and hands raised to the sides of her head.

    • ReadFanon [any, any]
      ·
      19 days ago

      The ones that really make my eye really twitch are:

      • Ad hominem fallacy

      It's not a formal debate and ad hominem isn't some fancy Latin term for an insult. Imagine if someone's response to being insulted was "You just insulted me!"; yes, you got insulted. Congrats on figuring that out all by yourself.

      • No True Scotsman

      This one comes up so damn often when a person establishes a definition. "You cannot be a pacifist and support the death penalty" kinda thing. It comes up most often in discussions about socialism/communism from the mouths of reactionaries. The NTS fallacy is inherently tautological by its definition; it must be something where the definition is used to dismiss evidence to the contrary. "No human being is taller than 3m" is not committing the NTS fallacy. If someone said "No human being is taller than 2.5m" and someone responded "But Robert Wadlow was over 2.7m" and the reply was "Well that means he wasn't human" that is the NTS fallacy. Otherwise every definition ever, and in fact every word ever, would be guilty of the fallacy as every single one of those necessarily excludes something.

      • Red Herring fallacy

      This one comes up less often but it's just as obnoxious. You aren't having a formal debate and there is no explicit agreement about the bounds of the discussion. Anyone can bring anything up. If you don't understand why something is irrelevant then that's on you, you can ask. If something is completely irrelevant then you can just say "That's irrelevant" or you can ignore it.

      Remember that one kid who would kick a ball around with your group and they'd always try and rules lawyer someone being out of bounds when everyone else is like "Bruh. We're just kicking a ball around for fun. There is no field, there are no painted lines, there is no umpire. Chill out."? This has the same energy.

    • heggs_bayer [none/use name]
      ·
      19 days ago

      berdly-actually Ummm, ackshually, people are only bothered by enlightened intellectuals pointing out their logical fallacies because it sheds to light their flawed reasoning and makes people defensive about how dumb they are.nerd debatejaksmuglord

  • UlyssesT [he/him]
    hexagon
    ·
    20 days ago

    I just remembered one more, and it may count as a hot take for some that like using it themselves, but "it's almost as if..." prefixes to sentences are really fucking grating and reek of the same passive-aggressive condescension that the other mentioned Redditisms do.

    • Moonworm [any]
      ·
      20 days ago

      I'm with you on this one. It's intended as a sort of, "we all know this but don't say it," or similar, but always just comes off as condescending to me. Maybe because it's so often applied to statements that are in fact known and acknowledged.

      • UlyssesT [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        edit-2
        20 days ago

        I just remembered another because of your post: "Let's face it/let's be honest" used as magic words to transmute opinion into ironclad objective fact. disgost

        • Moonworm [any]
          ·
          20 days ago

          I think there's some value in an "I'll be honest," as a signal that one is being forthright despite a potential cost, with a corresponding appeal to the listener to hear the speaker out. But yeah, when it's an appeal to an imagined silent majority that shit is often not very good.

    • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
      ·
      19 days ago

      "it's almost as if..."

      This is Twitterbrain I think and drives me up the wall too, you're not alone

  • let_me_tank_her [he/him]
    ·
    20 days ago

    starting every post with "I mean, <statement>." smuglord

    I know what you mean, you don't need to start every post with it! Just state your statement that you were already going to do.

    You can Ctrl + F "I mean" in every reddit thread and come back with 50 results it's so widespread and I hate it! Biggest pet peeve for me lol.

  • AmericaDelendaEst [comrade/them]
    ·
    20 days ago

    "It's the internet. You are allowed to swear."

    I think people only say that though when people swear but censor their swearing i.e. "f*ck", which, imo, is very silly to do, like, no more half measures, walter

    • Flyberius [comrade/them]
      ·
      19 days ago

      I honestly don't care when people censor their swears. Honestly I think it can add something to written text depending on the context. It's like an exclamation point in the middle of a word.

      What I cannot stand is people saying "it's ok to swear in the internet". No fucking shit. It's also ok not to swear on the internet you f*cking baby.

      • heggs_bayer [none/use name]
        ·
        19 days ago

        I think it's funny when someone censors a word that isn't normally considered a swear for comedic effect, like "Fr*nch".

      • AmericaDelendaEst [comrade/them]
        ·
        19 days ago

        I honestly don't care when people censor their swears

        that's your opinion and I disagree because I do care because I think it's dumb because I disrespect the entire notion of "swear words" as sacrosanct, inviolable constructs

        I lost a job because I was swearing as an expression of my very human emotions of frustration and someone who was entirely unrelated to this, dozens of feet away, only overhearing these words, was so offended they reported me, and that is a culture I think must be erased from the earth (AND CENSORING SWEARS ONLINE IS A GATEWAY)

      • Hexboare [they/them]
        ·
        19 days ago

        Is this an American thing? I've never seen the level of concern about 'swears' or 'cussing'

        I assume it's not a Br*tish thing

        • Flyberius [comrade/them]
          ·
          19 days ago

          I'm British and I swear like a sailor. I just don't care if someone chooses not to or chooses to use asterisks when they type it.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      20 days ago

      I think people only say that

      I've seen it said, particularly on reddit-logo , for like "screw" over "fuck" which seems just as petty as getting mad about "Happy Holidays" being said over "Merry Christmas."

  • Dolores [love/loves]
    ·
    edit-2
    20 days ago

    I think most of these things ITT are fine when people here do them. the grossness really seems to be associated with the culture of reddit and worse sites.

    Sesursoj can have a little repetitive language, as a treat

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      20 days ago

      We can agree to disagree there, though I hope the "who hurt you" social well-poisoning isn't included in your "fine" list at the least.

      • Dolores [love/loves]
        ·
        20 days ago

        I was speaking more to the comments, "You're Wrong?" is the only one of yours that has a good utility, redditors just overuse it with false confidence so it doesn't land.

        but responding to something that's very verbosely incorrect with a terse correction like that can be very funny

        • UlyssesT [he/him]
          hexagon
          ·
          20 days ago

          I was speaking more to the comments, "You're Wrong?" is the only one of yours that has a good utility, redditors just overuse it with false confidence so it doesn't land.

          It may just be a subjective thing for me; deliberately-used vocal fry tactics were exhaustively common throughout the years where I worked multiple minimum wage jobs to pay my way through college and having to hear that verbally intoned not-question question mark at the end of a hostile condescending statement for the hundredth time ("Check the backroom agaaaaain?" "Um... Managemeeeent?" "Customer is always riiiiiight?" "Your coworker would be cute if she kept her mouth shut and lost a few poooooounds?" and that last one still boils my blood remembering it).

          can be very funny

          Maybe, but I'm sure it was also fun/funny to the people I mentioned above that were tormenting kids that were just trying to survive, too.

    • AndJusticeForAll [none/use name]
      ·
      20 days ago

      Agreed. This thread has happened before and it's mostly arbitrary ways to say things that have nothing to do with Reddit.