By the end of 2023 we'll have a gritty film just called "Azov" with half a face of a dirt-speckled soldier on one side and half of Zelensky's face on the other side, and it's a war film about the epic Ukrainian resistance to Putler's invasion. And the Azov guys will have tattoos, but they won't be Nazi tattoos, they'll just be regular ones, maybe throw in a bald eagle or something to symbolize how they're inspired by the brave American soldiers during Middle Eastern wars.

We'll simultaneously have every cliche from American war movies and Marvel movies in it; so there will be a scene where a brave Azov soldier says "Yeah, I have a family back home waiting for me. Wife and two daughters. They're so beautiful, I can't wait to see them again..." and then they get gunned down in the next scene by a Russian soldier with a... fuck it, let's just lean into it, a skull and crossbones themed uniform, with a hammer and sickle + swastika combo. And then for the Marvel part, there'll be a scene where the Azov soldiers are having witty banter between them as they shoot the Russian Commienazis, and then the Ghost of Kiev comes along and carpetbombs a Russian convoy miles long and they just go "Well. That happened."

This film will be the shittiest one that year and every single liberal in America will go to it; actually, if you don't go see it, you'll be deemed a traitor to the United States online. There will be an n-word bot but for confirming that you've seen the movie at least once, and some subreddits will demand at least 5 viewings before they let you post. The trailer will be the most upvoted post on Reddit and it'll be the highest grossing movie of all time.

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